I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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