WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
