Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize