guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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