Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
