Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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