Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
