Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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