I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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