So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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