did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
