It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
