I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
