Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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