have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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