im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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