Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
