I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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