it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize