I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
