I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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