the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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