Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
