I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
