last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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