dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
