last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
