Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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