You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
