why do cheetos always look like penises
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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