I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
