If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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