I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just pee around me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
