so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
