I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
