You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
