This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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