don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
