we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
