You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she smelled like a LAN party
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
