is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't think brook has ever known best
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
