Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
