I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
