toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just gargled with NyQuil
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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