smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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