I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
