I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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