are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
