Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
