your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
