You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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