Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you made out with another girl for some wings
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