just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
