u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
