Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
