So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
