I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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