Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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