turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
