The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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