She is in my trunk
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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