i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
